You took the leap to move to a new city to follow your dream career, and now you find yourself asking the internet, “how to make friends in your 20s?” It’s a common experience. The BBC loneliness survey found that those aged 20-24 are part of the loneliest age group.

People grow up in a world of built-in circles formed through our classes, sports teams, and school clubs. Maybe you joined a sorority in college. But no one provides that structure when you enter the real world. That doesn’t mean there isn’t hope; it just means you need to know where to look.

The Unspoken Reality of Female Friendships in Your 20s

The truth about finding female friendships in your 20s is you can’t just look up how to make friends in your 20s online and suddenly be invited to 15 birthday parties next month. You must be active in your search, rather than relying on the passive approach we’ve used to form friendships for the past 20 years.

You have to say “yes” to the dinner party invitation when you only know one person there. You have to take the leap and ask the random girl at the coffee shop if she wants to sit together. These friendships are possible, but you have to put in the effort.

Learning how to make friends in your 20s means choosing effort over comfort. It means accepting that friendships won’t fall into your lap the same way they used to, but that they can still be just as meaningful.

From Built-In Circles to Intentional Connection

Work friends, people you knew in high school, and connections from college can all become something more. You might not need to look to completely new people to find connections; they may already exist in your network.

Mutual connections are not only powerful for careers. They can also be a starting point for real friendships. If you know someone from your sorority who lives in your new city, reach out and ask her to grab a drink. If a friend mentions they know someone nearby, follow up and make a plan.

Friends of friends are one of the easiest ways to build relationships that don’t start at zero. You’ve likely had someone say, “Oh my gosh, my friend lives there!” Take that connection seriously. Whether it’s joining a group plan or inviting them to hang out one-on-one, small actions can turn loose connections into real friendships.

Sometimes, learning how to make friends in your 20s doesn’t mean starting from scratch. It means building on what’s already there.

So where are women actually finding these friendships?

Today, friendships are forming around shared identity and lifestyle. Many lifestyles already include some form of routine, especially when it comes to wellness or hobbies.

If you enjoy workout classes and see the same girls each week, that’s an opportunity. Start with a simple conversation after class or ask if they want to grab a post-Pilates smoothie. If you’re into running, join a local run club. 

These spaces create repeated interaction, which is one of the biggest factors in building friendships. Over time, simply showing up in the same spaces makes conversations feel more natural and connections easier to build.

If you want to try something new, intramural sports leagues are another great option. From softball to tennis, these environments are designed for meeting people. You can join with one friend or sign up solo and be placed on a team. Lifestyles also include hobbies, and hobbies often come with communities. 

There are book clubs, cookbook clubs, and even niche groups like needlepoint clubs. Some you can join, and others you can create yourself. 

You can also use social media to find people in your area. 

If you see someone posting about a book you love or a routine you relate to, reach out. You can even start your own group and post about it. It might feel small at first, but it grows faster than you think. There is also a full site designed to form book clubs.

There are also apps designed specifically for this stage of life. Bumble BFF takes the concept of a dating app and applies it to friendships.

For many women learning how to make friends in your 20s, these shared environments become the easiest starting point.

Using Social Media as a Tool for Real-Life Connection

Social media can make you feel alone, but it can also help you build real connections if you use it intentionally. A few quick searches of your city can lead you to other women with similar interests nearby. You can start by building an online relationship. Follow them. Engage with their content. Reply to a story.

From there, take it a step further. Send a message and suggest meeting in real life, whether it’s coffee, a walk, or drinks. Instagram tends to feel the most personal for this, especially if you don’t post much on TikTok. You may also find mutual connections that make reaching out feel more natural.

You can also use your own social media to share that you’re looking to meet new people. Being open about that can feel vulnerable, but it often leads to unexpected connections. Social media has become one of the most effective tools for women learning how to make friends in your 20s.

Why Making the First Move Feels So Uncomfortable

It is uncomfortable to be the one who makes the first move. Many women hesitate because they don’t want to seem too forward or risk rejection.

But the truth is, most people are waiting for someone else to initiate.

A big part of learning how to make friends in your 20s is getting comfortable being that person whether it’s sending the first text, suggesting plans, or following up after meeting someone.

Not Every Friendship Has to Be a “Best Friend”

Some friends are for workouts, some are for going out, and some are for deeper conversations, and all of them matter. You don’t need to be looking for your best friend every time you meet someone new. There is value in having different types of friendships that serve different parts of your life.

When learning how to make friends in your 20s, letting go of that pressure makes the process feel more natural and less overwhelming.

Redefining Friendship in Your 20s

Friendship in your 20s looks different from what it did before, and that’s not a bad thing. It becomes more intentional and more reflective of who you are becoming. If you’ve found yourself searching for how to make friends in your 20s, you’re not alone. 

This stage of life requires more effort, more openness, and sometimes stepping outside of your comfort zone. But the friendships you build because of that might just be stronger and more meaningful than the ones that came easily before.

🪽 Written by Alexia Bryant